Joan Rosenberg, PhD, psychologist, is a best-selling author, corporate wellness consultant, and media expert who is known globally as an acclaimed speaker and trainer on communication, confidence, resilience, authenticity, and grief.
As a three-time TEDx speaker and member of the Association of Transformational Leaders, she has been recognized for her innovative Emotional Mastery / confidence-building approach, and for her thought leadership and global influence in personal development.
Dr. Rosenberg has served as a mental health media consultant for documentaries, print, radio, television, and digital outlets.
She is a professor of psychology at Pepperdine University.
In this episode we address the Rosenberg reset: The 90 sec formula= One choice, Eight feelings for 90 seconds. The one choice is to be aware, versus avoiding.
To stay present. See we do pleasant well. We need to lean into the unpleasant. The key is to be able to stay present and ‘tolerate’ the eight pleasant feelings.
Why eight? Because they are the most common feelings we experience when things don’t turn out our way. The eight are: sadness shame helplessness anger vulnerability embarrassment disappointment frustration
The 90 seconds is based on neuroscience. When we have a feeling, they fire off body chemistry, which activates body sensations. When we flood, the bloodstream, via this causation of a feeling. By the time we flood the chemistry and flush it out is roughly 90 seconds.
So all you have to do is stay present. Then you get access to your full capacity of feelings.
Your breath (the way in which you breathe) informs your body if you are safe or not
3 main ways the keep unpleasant feelings to linger (drag out)
1) focus on what you don’t want
2) repeat the thoughts and or memories that recreate the feelings
conscious languaging examples
starting with ‘phraseology’
if you begin your verbal ques with these types of questions am I, can I do I, will i- you only foster doubt when you change the syntax (the order of the words) then you make a statement and this puts you back in the driver seat- I am, I can, I do, I will – “Can I really pull this off?” – “Can I achieve what I want to achieve?” – “Do I have what it takes to succeed?” – “Will I be able to deliver a good presentation?” – “Will I do a good job?” – “Will I be well-liked?” – “Am I going to be able to complete this project?” – “Am I good enough?”
The strategy for addressing these anxiety-maintaining questions is to turn them into statements instead. Make declarative sentences simply by switching the order of your words: – “Can I?” becomes “I can.” – “Do I?” becomes “I do.” – “Will I?” becomes “I will.” – “Am I?” becomes “I am.”
For instance, rather than asking “Will I do a good job?”, turn that question into a statement and say to yourself: “I will do a good job.” And if you ask a variation like “How will I…,” change that question into a statement like “I will find a way to…” approach life with curiosity conscious and nonconscious vulnerability
To learn more, visit https://drjoanrosenberg.com/; you can follow her on Instagram here https://www.instagram.com/drjoanrosenberg/.
Her latest book is 90 Seconds to a Life You Love: How to Master Your Difficult Feelings to Cultivate Lasting Confidence, Resilience, and Authenticity.
For a free gift: https://drjoanrosenberg.com/gift
Here’s a link to one of Dr. Joans Tedx Talks going into these feelings in detail Emotional Mastery: The Gifted Wisdom of Unpleasant Feelings Dr. Joan Rosenberg https://youtu.be/EKy19WzkPxE